Creating an Extraordinary Organization

Only six per cent of Americans love their jobs.

Stress-induced depression is on the rise and predicted to be the leading occupationaldisease responsible for more work days lost than any other single factor.

And poor communication in the workplace is a leading cause of job dissatisfaction. If everyone would like to work in a thriving, enlivening and nurturing environment, why is it that almost no one loves being at work? Why is it that most of us simply acquiescewhen confronted by the drudgery and suffering that, according to seemingly everystatistical measure, characterizes life within many companies? Why is it that given thepossibility of real fulfillment and satisfaction, we tolerate the gossip, petty jealousy, personal undermining and adversarial communication that seem to pervade many offices,assured of the inevitability of this condition?

Is this condition inevitable? Are we destined to an environment where the most we haveto look forward to is Friday afternoon? Not at all. There are specific steps that can betaken to begin to reclaim some of the enthusiasm, some of the air of celebration andsome of the fundamental respect for individual human dignity that is apparent withinflourishing business organizations or on championship teams:

1. Don’t take it per sonally

Given the dysfunctional communication strategies demonstrated by most adults,repressed anger and upset are frequently brewing just beneath the surface within manyindividuals. Their angry and offensive outbursts have little or nothing to do with anyoccurrence in the present moment. Some unresolved upset from the past has simply beentriggered and bursts forth in an inappropriate manner.

Under such circumstances does it make sense to take another’s outburst personally?Logically, the answer is no. Taking someone else’s anger personally is insane becauseit simply never is a personal phenomenon. This is not to say, however, that it is easy toremain calm in the face of another persons’ anger, recognizing that it is not personal. It isnever easy, but armed with this insight you can begin to develop an ability to stand firmlyin the face of another’s upset without taking it as a personal attack.

2. Listen with compassion

Life is a difficult and challenging enterprise for everyone, and this fundamental truthgoes largely unrecognized. Given this knowledge, rather than reacting to someone’s angeror upset, it is possible for you to deeply appreciate his or her feelings and experience.Rather than reacting to someone’s anger or upset, it is useful and necessary for you todemonstrate empathy. Remember, there but for the grace of God go I.

3. Just hear the communication

In order to lessen tension within the workplace, it is necessary to provide a safeenvironment for open, honest communication. Get people to talk about what is going onwith them, to describe their present experience, and then just listen. Don’t respond. Don’toffer advice. Don’t try to console. Just listen with compassion and understanding. In thevast number of cases, quiet and attentive listening will allow the upset to disappear.

4. Give up the need to be right

For most human beings, the necessity to be right, the unconscious desire to win is allimportant. This drive is expressed with employees, coworkers and even with family.Individuals are reduced to objects, and friends and family are sacrificed simply topreserve an egocentric point of view. We would rather be right, would rather win theargument than coexist happily, but being right and being happy are mutually exclusive.

5. Look for the best in people

Attention on oneself caused by one’s own sense of insufficiency drives people intocompetition with one another and creates a bias toward critical, negative analysis ofanother in order to enhance one’s own social standing and appearance. We literallylook for the worst in others in an attempt to conceal or dilute our own self-perceivedshortcomings by comparison.

In order to counter this seemingly natural tendency, learn to look for and expect the bestin all coworkers and become everyone else’s greatest fan. What is it about each individualthat makes him or her a valuable contribution to the company? Who are these peoplereally, and what are their best attributes and strengths?

6. Acknowledge people

Everyone craves positive attention, for most individuals live with a sense of insufficiencyand of their own shortcomings. Look for opportunities to acknowledge coworkers. Whatpositive impact are they making on the company? Acknowledge people for doing a goodjob, for making a deadline, for keeping their promises. Acknowledge them for theirappearance, for the way they manage their workload, or for the way they treat others.Always remember to keep it authentic and sincere, and look for and find numerousopportunities to thank people for the many large and small contributions that they maketo the company.

7. For give others

Given the unconscious desire to win at all costs and the necessity to be right, we tend tohold on to every injustice, every wrong, every resentment and every regret. What oftengoes unnoticed is that un-forgiven resentments must always be suppressed, managedor controlled. They arise again and again whenever the person who is the object of theresentment comes into the room or is mentioned in conversation. What makes mattersworse is that the suppressed anger also arises whenever any similar instance resembles a past transgression. Resentments divert attention, breed gossip and provoke physicalillness.

For your own sanity, it is critically important to forgive others. Forgiveness is a gift yougive yourself. Forgiveness does not deny the inappropriate nature of another’s acts; itdoes not condone or tolerate future abuse, but in forgiveness, in giving up the resentmentand the right to punish, you are left with serenity, freedom and peace of mind.

8. Communicate upsets

Human beings live in the illusion that unexpressed anger, upset and disappointment willsimply disappear over time. Nothing could be further from the truth. Like resentments,unexpressed upsets inevitably arise again and again. They divert your attention andsap energy. Moreover, unfulfilled expectations, thwarted intentions and undeliveredcommunications – the stuff of which upsets are made – provide the evidence by whichother individuals are tried and sentenced. Only communication can provide salvation forcontinued viable and productive relationships.