Make things better by altering your worldview

Do you want to have a breakthrough at work? Do you want the results of your company to increase dramatically? Do you want to feel more energized, more enthusiastic, happier? All of these things are a lot easier to obtain than I’m sure you realize. It’s all about changing your worldview.

I’m going to keep this simple because it is simple. The problem likely is that you won’t believe what I’m about to say because of the simplicity of it. Here’s your biggest problem: you don’t realize that you’re in charge of everything in your life and business. You worry about customers, vendors, employees, suppliers, the economy, the competition, everything outside of yourself. It’s such a waste of your energy and time.

All of those things you worry about are all part of your worldview. But you actually believe that those things are both real and true. After all, there are customers and vendors and employees, etc. Here’s the key insight: There is no such thing as real or true. There is ONLY what’s real or true for YOU. It’s all what you believe. And mostly, your beliefs are negative and self defeating.

You actually believe that you have obstacles to your success, that you have to do things to overcome those obstacles and you need something to support you in doing the things you have to do. That’s part of the worldview you were born into. It’s just not the truth. You don’t need anything and there’s nothing you need to do. Here’s what will likely be a startling fact: everything you’ve ever thought you wanted is already there. The moment you thought about it, the Universe created it. You just need to let it come to you.

But there are so many barriers to that happening. First, you don’t believe any of that and your life is being created out of what you do believe. Second, you don’t trust the Universe to deliver. As I’ve mentioned before, Einstein said you have to decide whether you believe the Universe is friendly or hostile. Trust me, it’s friendly. But you don’t trust it.

Third, most people don’t have much of an ability to receive. Most people don’t feel worthy of receiving. If you want to receive all the Universe has waiting for you, you have to learn to feel you deserve everything. Expect life to be good. Pound yourself multiple times a day with acknowledgement for everything you do.

Our philosophy, which we call “Unshackled Leadership” is designed fundamentally to help you change your worldview from one that disempowers you and prevents you from having what you want to one consistent with this post which empowers you to have it all. By learning the principles of Unshackled Leadership, an individual’s worldview is altered, immediately changing his or her perspective for the better;

Once an individual’s worldview is changed, team relationships can, and typically do, improve dramatically and when teams are functioning at a high level, business results will also improve dramatically. With one Unshackled Leadership client company, BEFORE: sales were flat and there was virtually no profitability for five consecutive years, AFTER: sales doubled in the first three years and profitability increased by more than ten times. With another client company, where BEFORE: sales had grown an average of 9% per year for over 20 years, AFTER: sales increased by 32% the first year.

This is not hard. You just have to be willing to give up your negative thoughts and beliefs and exchange them for the thoughts and beliefs I’ve discussed here. As many of you like to hear me say, do you want to be right or happy? If the later, give up all the negative thoughts you’ve held onto for too long and exchange them for thoughts and beliefs which are consistent with what you want. Start trusting the Universe to deliver and open your arms and heart to receive.

The fine art of goal setting

Almost exactly a year ago, I introduced you to the video version of my Roadmap to Success program which you can watch on your computer or your TV. The video program includes monthly coaching calls for you to get the support you need to accomplish your goals. In case you missed all of this and you’re now ready to win in the game of life and take control of your business or career, I invite you to go to: http://www.unshackledleadership.com/free-success-video-ty and sign up for the platinum group coaching program which will include both the mp4 and DVD versions of the video program.

I tell you this because for the last year, we’ve had amazing monthly calls with people all over the country and the conversation has been life altering. I particularly want to share with you the conversation we had last week about goal setting because I believe that most people who set goals miss the real power in doing so.

I’m going to assume, for the purpose of this conversation, that you set goals, whether they be weekly, monthly, yearly or long-term. My first question is: are your goals means goals or end goals? Examples of means goals are: make 5 sales calls, sell 6 widgets, get a promotion, buy a new car, buy a new home, sales of $X this year, profitability of Y%, etc. Can you relate to those types of goals? I suspect that most of your goals are those kinds. So why do I call them means goals? Because they are goals you set thinking that they are the pathway to the real goal you have, which is the end goal.

Here’s some examples of end goals: I get to drive a wonderful car that brings me joy and excitement, I live in a fabulous house in the country surrounded by lots of trees, I have all the money I need to live the life-style of my dreams, I work in an environment that is fun and nurturing and allows me to express my talents for which I am richly rewarded.

Look at the difference between the first and second types of goals. Why do you care if you buy a new car or a new home if you get to drive a wonderful car that brings you joy and excitement and you live in a fabulous house in the country surrounded by lots of trees? Why do you care if you get that promotion if you work in an environment that is fun and nurturing and allows you to express your talents for which you are richly rewarded?

In other words, stop setting goals which you think are the means to the end you really want and focus on the end. The end might come in a totally unexpected way. Plus, do you really think you’re smart enough to know exactly what the best path is to what you really want? I’ll answer that question for you: No! All you know is what you’ve learned in the past and that is fundamentally limited. So focus on the end you want and let the universe show you the best way to make it happen. Giving up trying to control and manipulate the circumstances of life is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

If you’re open to taking this conversation up an additional step, consider the following: What do you really want in the end anyway? Do you really want the house, the car, the promotion, the sales, the profitability or do you want what those things will bring you? You may not have ever thought about it but isn’t it true that you want those things because you think they’ll make you happy?

We talked about this extensively on our call last week. We all saw that most of the things we want in life we want because of the “feeling” we think those things will bring. But here’s the great reality: we don’t need those things to have that feeling, whatever it is. You can choose to have that feeling right here and right now. And here’s the best part: if you choose to have that feeling, whether it be joy or happiness or excitement, whatever, right now, the likelihood is that you will indeed attract to you all of the things you thought would bring you those feelings. And then, you don’t have to wait to have them to have those feelings. You can enjoy them right now.

Anyway, this call we had last week was so amazing, I’m going to let you listen in and see what’s available if you choose to participate in the Platinum Group coaching program. The dial-in number to gain access to the recording is: 267-507-0255. You will be asked for an access code after you dial in. It is: 40767707. If you have any problems accessing the call, please let me know.

Is the glass half empty or half full?

As I mentioned last week, I was at the annual National Speakers Association convention, hanging out with about 1,500 speakers from all around the world. One of the most amazing things about being at this annual event is the people you meet. Yes, we have great presenters, like Steve Forbes and Penn Jillette, but the real impact is made by the people you see or get to sit with at a meal.

For example, at one lunch, I sat with an astronaut who had commanded three space shuttle missions. Wow. You can just imagine all the questions we asked and how fascinating the conversation was. The biggest takeaway from that conversation was the enormous amount of preparation and training those folks went through to be able to do what they had to do. Just like the rest of us, they had a job to do and they took it really seriously.

I also got to talk a bit with a former NBA basketball player, an Olympic gold medalist, and a former combat pilot, all of whom are now professional speakers. In other words, our profession attracts people who, because of their life experiences, have learned some things they want to share and/or have a story to tell.

But in addition to the people like the ones described above, there are others who really touch your heart. One of our main platform speakers was Sean Stephenson who, when he was born, doctors predicted would not survive past birth because of a rare bone disorder that stunted his growth and caused his bones to be extremely fragile. Sean joked that all of those doctors are now dead and he’s still alive. But he is 3 feet tall and lives on a wheel chair. Despite his challenges, Sean has taken a stand for a quality of life that has reached millions of people around the world. If you want to see something truly inspiring, check out Sean at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9i6calKZwk

I also got to see several people with no arms, some with one leg, I attended a session given by a quadriplegic, and one of our most inspiring speakers was in a plane crash and had other events that left him scared, handless and in a wheel chair. All of these people have used their lives to be a source of inspiration to others and they are surely that.

I share this with you because these events are always such a wakeup call for me. Yes, I’ve had my challenges and I’m sure you have had yours. But I promise you, for the vast majority of us, what we have gone through has been a cake walk compared to those like Sean. Yet, a third of the country is on anti-depressants. There are more drugs and anti-depressants sold in the USA than the rest of the world combined. On the list of countries with the happiest people, we in the USA are about number 20 or lower.

Why is this? Because instead of focusing on how blessed we are, we focus on what we don’t have or what we want to have. Most people aren’t happy. They’re waiting for life to turn out, not realizing that it’s already turned out and it’s turned out pretty damn well.

Is the glass half empty or half full? The answer is: both. The better question is: how do you see the glass (i.e. life)? My experience is that far too many choose to see the glass as half empty and that is a formula for a bad attitude. And as I’ve written about before, your attitude is everything. Your attitude determines your vibrational frequency and what you attract into your life.

So if you want a dose of reality, if you’re not waking every day saying: Another Day in Paradise, if you’re not focusing on how great your life already is and counting your blessings every minute of every day, I’ll see you next year in Washington, DC for the 2015 annual National Speakers Association convention.

Are you being the best you you can be?

I’m here at the National Speakers Association annual convention in San Diego, CA. Once a year, about 1,500 of the best speakers in the world gather to network with and learn from each other. This year, in attendance are speakers from 22 countries and people who speak on every imaginable subject, and many more that you couldn’t even imagine. We have many main stage speakers and over 50 concurrent sessions to choose from.

For me, after over a dozen years of coming to these events, the best part is not how much I learn, but how effectively many of the presenters provoke my thinking and leave me asking questions I don’t have ready answers for. This year was no exception and I’m going to offer you two questions that have really made me step back and look. I hope they will do the same for you.

The first question is: how much time are you taking each day getting better at your craft? For me, as a professional speaker, the question was intended to have me look at how much time I’m spending daily getting better on the platform, getting better as a presenter, getting better as a seminar leader, getting better as a coach, and getting better as a retreat leader. Really great questions and my obvious answer is: not nearly enough.

So I ask you: how much time are you taking each day getting better at what you do? Do you just go to work every day and do the same thing over and over again? Or do you take some time, any time, getting better at what you do? Do you take classes, go to seminars, read books, ask for help? Or do you just take it all for granted and assume you’re as good as you need to be. Here’s something I can promise you: you may be as good as you need to be, but you’re surely not as good as you could be.

I’m really going to take this question to heart and I encourage you to do the same. I’ve been doing most of what I’ve been doing for many years and I think I’m pretty good at it. But after watching some of the presenters here, I’m clear I can be a lot better than I am. And I’m confident that’s true for you to, which is why I said you’re surely not as good as you could be. I encourage you to take some time each day getting better. It surely can’t hurt and may really help take your career up to the next level.

The second question is: Am I providing the best ROI for the minutes I’ve been given on the stage? For me, again as a professional speaker, the question was intended to have me look at whether my client is receiving the best return on his or her investment for whatever time I was given to present my program. My first reaction was to answer yes, but I’m surely not going to leave it there. I’m really going to take a look and make sure that the answer really is yes.

So I ask you: someone is paying you for what you do, correct? Whether you work for a company or yourself, someone is paying you for what you do. Is that person or company getting the very best return on the investment they’re making in you? Are you giving whoever is paying you the best of what you have? Are they getting the best of you and your talents and abilities?

One of the saddest realities of the American workforce is reflected in the latest Gallup poll which said that 70% of full time workers are either checked out or actively disengaged. So for them, the company that is paying them is surely not getting the best ROI for the investment they are making in them. But just because the other 30% are engaged at work, the question still remains. Again, I don’t know what the answer to this question is for you, but I surely invite you to look, as that is exactly what I’ll be doing.

If you really really want to be happy, here's more on forgiveness

In a recent post, I said that if you want to have a really amazing life, forgive yourself and everyone else in your life for everything. Why?: Because an unwillingness to forgive often doesn’t hurt the person we refuse to forgive at all, but it always hurts us. As long as we don’t forgive, we are bound to the other person with bonds of pain or anger or a desire for revenge. Forgiving doesn’t mean finding a way to excuse someone. There may be no excuse in the world for what they did. But forgiving does mean giving up the desire to punish them. Holding on to the need to see them pay for their words or actions is holding on to the injury itself. Forgiveness releases us from the power a wrongful action still has over us and sets us free to heal and move on.

I was having a conversation with someone who had read this, who they are is not important, and she was lamenting about her disappointment that some of her children were unwilling to forgive her and, of course, there were a number of reasons for their unwillingness to do so. Because her situation is surely not unique, I want to write about what I would have liked to tell her had there been more time.

First, if you’re disappointed that anyone in your life is unwilling to forgive YOU, then you are clearly not forgiving THEM. What you’re wanting is for  the other people to be the way you want them to be and unfortunately, that is not a choice you get to make. People are the way they are, they will do what they choose to do, and all you get to do is to practice the serenity prayer: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

What you can do is discuss with them their grievances with you, give them an opportunity to communicate, listen with compassion with no need to explain or justify your behavior, apologize, and then ask if they are willing to forgive you. The decision is then theirs. If they choose not to forgive you, they are the ones that get to suffer, not you, as long as you’re willing to forgive them.

More importantly, you’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness other than your own. How you get to be happy is to follow the instructions I’ve been writing about, including this piece on forgiveness. When you’re willing to forgive, you get to be happy. But that includes being willing to let them not be happy. And I know it’s tough with close family members. There was a time, many years ago, when one of my daughters struggled with forgiving me. We tried to do what I’m writing about with her many many times, I would listen, she would communicate her upsets, I would apologize, but she couldn’t forgive. And it got so bad that the only possible choice for the sanity of both of us was for us to go our separate ways.

Was that a happy choice? Yes and no. It didn’t make me or her happy to have to make that choice, but we were both happier after the choice was made. She didn’t have to continue to confront her issues with me and I didn’t have to continue to deal with her unloving behavior. So one of the things I would say to any of you who are in this situation is that you have the right to set boundaries. If people are unwilling to forgive and continue to be angry or resentful, tell them to go and deal with it someplace else and not on or around you.

With my daughter, we both lived with this for over seven years while she worked out her own issues. Thankfully, she was able to get to a place of true forgiveness and now we have a truly amazing relationship. Now could I have counted on that happening? No. But I surely held out hope that it would and miraculously it did.

In conclusion, as I opened, if you want to have a truly amazing life, forgive others, even if they’re unwilling to forgive you, and give up the need to control anyone else or take responsibility for anyone else’s happiness. The greatest thing you can do for unhappy people is to not be one of them.