Qualities of Effective Leaders

Leadership is an extremely valuable skill.  Some people seem to be born with the ability to inspiringly lead others, while others have to really work at it.  Being able to effectively lead others can create an amazing work environment where you’re getting the support you need to create the results you desire, and others know they can count on you to be there for them as well.

Some people make the mistake of assuming that only those in a position of leadership, directly managing others, are the only ones who really make a difference.  Not true.  Whether you are in a position of leadership or not, everyone has something called personal leadership.  This is how you conduct yourself on a day in and day out basis.  Your level of personal leadership is a valuable component to your overall success.  And in all the years of working with leaders, there are several qualities that the successful ones have in common.  If you’re willing to build on the ones you already possess, and strengthen the ones you may be weaker in, you’ll find people will be drawn to you and inspired to be on your team, or simply be motivated by being in your presence.

Great leaders have direction.  They are driven, focused and not easily distracted.  They are proactive and search every avenue to find answers to problems.  They don’t get tripped up by small issues, but choose to stay focused on the big picture.

Great leaders inspire and motivate others.  They understand that different people learn in different ways and are very aware of what motivates and inspires the different people on their teams.  They are encouraging and challenging and most especially have the people they work with feel they have their best interests in mind.

Great leaders are good communicators.  They’re not afraid to say the difficult things and they’re generous with acknowledgment.  They let people know what they need and are very effective at holding people accountable.

Great leaders are positive.  They see the possibilities in ideas vs. the flaws.  They see mistakes as opportunities to learn instead of failure.

Great leaders are solutions-driven.  They’re not stopped by a problem but rather seek out solutions.  They also inspire those around them to do the same.  They encourage the people around them to find their answers vs. fixing it for them.  

LEADERSHIP DILEMA – NOT ENOUGH TIME!!!

Does it seem like you never have enough time?  This is a popular dilemma for many people, especially those in leadership roles.  You find your “pie” gets divided into “pieces” which take up the things you have to do in your busy life.  The sad thing for many of us is that we never get a piece of the pie for ourselves.  Said more truly and powerfully, we never choose to take a piece of the pie for ourselves.

Many of us grew up with parents who said we have to get our work done before we can go “play”.  This “belief” is still present for many people and results in working lots of hours at the office and then going home and doing more work in the form of “chores”.  They fall into bed and start over the next day.

In the April 2012 issue of Real Simple Magazine, there was an interesting article on Women & Time.  Don’t stop reading, men, as the key points to come apply to you as well!  Their study showed that women who schedule their free time regularly are more satisfied with their lives than those who postpone their free time until they finish other tasks.  Additionally, women who delegate to their spouses more than once a week are more satisfied with their lives than those who don’t.  I’m sure this doesn’t surprise you. It does make sense.

My questions for you as a leader are:  Do you plan free time for yourself?  Do you delegate tasks to others?  Or are you afraid to let go of control? To reclaim free time and enjoy it, you need to start thinking differently, change some of your beliefs and shift some of your standards.  Decide it’s OK to schedule some “free” time for yourself every day.  Know that when you’re more happy and satisfied, everyone else in your life benefits – at work and at home. I challenge each of you this week to schedule at least 30 minutes of free time for yourself each day and use it for something you enjoy!  As the magazine article states, “Yes, you can have more free time!” 

Making conscious choices about what you do with your time sure beats worrying about having enough of it!

10 Tips to Ease the Fear of Public Speaking, part 3

This is the conclusion to our series The Fear of Public Speaking.  I hope you have found these tools useful and are noticing a difference in your stress level when it comes to speaking.  Here are the final tips..

5) Dress for Success.  Appearance matters.  Often times we underestimate the impact of how we look.  Feeling great about how you look gives you that extra edge to be able to speak to people with confidence.  So when you have to speak to someone, put on your favorite outfit, iron your clothes, shine your shoes, and hopefully it will be a good hair day!!!

6) Carry a special object or personal item.  For at least the first 8 years that I was a professional speaker, I always carried this little green stone in my pocket.  This stone symbolized all the hard work I had gone through, all the love I had for what I was speaking about, and all the support I had gotten from people in my life.  It gave me courage.  I never spoke in public without that stone.  I highly recommend that you find something that works for you.  Something you can hold on to, or just know that it’s there to keep you in your heart and calm.

7) Visualize what you want.  After 15 years of being a speaker I still use this tool.  I always visualize how I want a presentation to go.  Not only that, but I visualize how I want a conversation with my husband to go, or with my kids.  I visualize how I want a difficult phone call to go, or a meeting with a potential client to go.  This is a powerful tool that actually helps to generate the results you want.  It doesn’t even take very long.  5 minutes can help transform your focus and energy.

8) Give yourself a break. The most important thing to remember is that we are all in a learning process.   There are no rights or wrongs, no good or bad.  We are just who we are, perfect in our own way.  Giving yourself a break is the most important message I could leave you with.  If it doesn’t work out perfectly, then try again.  The word “mistake” is actually a term from archery and it means “missed the mark”.  Often times we make mistakes and we beat ourselves up.  If you can view your mistakes as simply “missing the mark”, and chose to re-aim and shoot again, you’ll find your life working better and easier.

9) Celebrate yourself.  One of the hardest things for us to do as human being is to celebrate our accomplishments.  It is vital that you learn how to do this for yourself, the big stuff and the little stuff.  This creates energy on the subconscious level and sends a message out to the Universe that says, “Send me more good stuff”.  So the next time you take a risk and public speak, whether it’s a big function or one on one, congratulate yourself.  Tell yourself “way to go me”.  Often times we look to others to give us this kind of attention.  But did you ever get a compliment and you brushed it off?  This is usually because we negated the statement in our minds.  Celebrating yourself opens us up to the opportunity to take in others compliments much easier, because we are already giving it to ourselves.

10) Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  As with celebrating yourself, being grateful attracts more of it into your life.  Even if the situation doesn’t turn out exactly the way we would like it to, be thankful about the opportunity at hand to continue to grow and learn about you.

This concludes our series.  So go hunt down some opportunities to speak, whether in a group or to another person.  Exercise the muscles that you have developed in these articles.  Practice makes perfect, so go try it on and see how it fits for you. 

10 Tips to Ease the Fear of Public Speaking, part 2

As I mentioned last week in the introduction to this series, I don’t have the magic key that is going to take away your fear of speaking to people. But if applied, the following tips can certainly ease the mental, emotional, and physical stress that grips you when you have to speak in front of a group or even have a difficult one on one conversation.

1) Thoughts become our reality. Most of the time what keeps up from speaking up in any situation is our negative self talk. We say things to ourselves such as “I can’t do this”, “I’ll look stupid”, “They won’t like me”, or “I’m going to make a mistake”. These thoughts are not the truth, although we’re very good at convincing ourselves that they are the truth. This keeps us from taking action in life and creates a ton of stress for us.

Becoming aware of the negative thoughts and transforming them is the key to having a life of freedom and confidence. Consciously changing those thoughts to ones like “I know I can do this”, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, I am enough”, “I have a lot to offer”, and “I can handle this”, will help fuel you to take action. It’s really simple, but not easy. If you started to consciously think these positive thoughts instead of the negative ones, in other words begin listening more to your higher consciousness vs. the voice of the ego, you’ll find yourself taking more of the actions that you know are necessary in your life.

2) Decide that you matter. Often times we don’t feel that what we have to say matters. We discount our opinions and look up to others to take the lead. Then we feel frustrated, especially when someone else says what we wanted to say. The truth is that we all have a part to play in this life. When we hide out and just go along, we give other people permission to do the same and eventually we have many people not stepping up in life. When this happens, nothing gets created and growth is stifled. When we each decide that we matter and that what we see and feel matters, and we take action on that, we create a different life, not only for ourselves but for everyone around us. You see something that no one else can see. You have a unique perspective. It’s an important perspective. It’s not the whole picture, but it’s a vital piece. Knowing that about yourself may give you the confidence to speak up more often.

3) Remember to breath. Deep breathing can actually lessen the stress you may be feeling both mentally and physically. Right before you have to speak, focusing on your breath transfers your attention to something other than what you are nervous about.

4) Have a personal motivational statement. Develop a short, easy to remember statement that you can say to yourself when you are nervous about something you have to say. Mine is “I am a magnetic, expressive, decisive and real woman”. This statement is something you can rely on to get you through a tough situation. And just like breathing, it gives you something to focus on other than your nervousness and negative self talk.

Stay tuned for the next 6 tips.