Make things better by altering your worldview

Do you want to have a breakthrough at work? Do you want the results of your company to increase dramatically? Do you want to feel more energized, more enthusiastic, happier? All of these things are a lot easier to obtain than I’m sure you realize. It’s all about changing your worldview.

I’m going to keep this simple because it is simple. The problem likely is that you won’t believe what I’m about to say because of the simplicity of it. Here’s your biggest problem: you don’t realize that you’re in charge of everything in your life and business. You worry about customers, vendors, employees, suppliers, the economy, the competition, everything outside of yourself. It’s such a waste of your energy and time.

All of those things you worry about are all part of your worldview. But you actually believe that those things are both real and true. After all, there are customers and vendors and employees, etc. Here’s the key insight: There is no such thing as real or true. There is ONLY what’s real or true for YOU. It’s all what you believe. And mostly, your beliefs are negative and self defeating.

You actually believe that you have obstacles to your success, that you have to do things to overcome those obstacles and you need something to support you in doing the things you have to do. That’s part of the worldview you were born into. It’s just not the truth. You don’t need anything and there’s nothing you need to do. Here’s what will likely be a startling fact: everything you’ve ever thought you wanted is already there. The moment you thought about it, the Universe created it. You just need to let it come to you.

But there are so many barriers to that happening. First, you don’t believe any of that and your life is being created out of what you do believe. Second, you don’t trust the Universe to deliver. As I’ve mentioned before, Einstein said you have to decide whether you believe the Universe is friendly or hostile. Trust me, it’s friendly. But you don’t trust it.

Third, most people don’t have much of an ability to receive. Most people don’t feel worthy of receiving. If you want to receive all the Universe has waiting for you, you have to learn to feel you deserve everything. Expect life to be good. Pound yourself multiple times a day with acknowledgement for everything you do.

Our philosophy, which we call “Unshackled Leadership” is designed fundamentally to help you change your worldview from one that disempowers you and prevents you from having what you want to one consistent with this post which empowers you to have it all. By learning the principles of Unshackled Leadership, an individual’s worldview is altered, immediately changing his or her perspective for the better;

Once an individual’s worldview is changed, team relationships can, and typically do, improve dramatically and when teams are functioning at a high level, business results will also improve dramatically. With one Unshackled Leadership client company, BEFORE: sales were flat and there was virtually no profitability for five consecutive years, AFTER: sales doubled in the first three years and profitability increased by more than ten times. With another client company, where BEFORE: sales had grown an average of 9% per year for over 20 years, AFTER: sales increased by 32% the first year.

This is not hard. You just have to be willing to give up your negative thoughts and beliefs and exchange them for the thoughts and beliefs I’ve discussed here. As many of you like to hear me say, do you want to be right or happy? If the later, give up all the negative thoughts you’ve held onto for too long and exchange them for thoughts and beliefs which are consistent with what you want. Start trusting the Universe to deliver and open your arms and heart to receive.

The fine art of goal setting

Almost exactly a year ago, I introduced you to the video version of my Roadmap to Success program which you can watch on your computer or your TV. The video program includes monthly coaching calls for you to get the support you need to accomplish your goals. In case you missed all of this and you’re now ready to win in the game of life and take control of your business or career, I invite you to go to: http://www.unshackledleadership.com/free-success-video-ty and sign up for the platinum group coaching program which will include both the mp4 and DVD versions of the video program.

I tell you this because for the last year, we’ve had amazing monthly calls with people all over the country and the conversation has been life altering. I particularly want to share with you the conversation we had last week about goal setting because I believe that most people who set goals miss the real power in doing so.

I’m going to assume, for the purpose of this conversation, that you set goals, whether they be weekly, monthly, yearly or long-term. My first question is: are your goals means goals or end goals? Examples of means goals are: make 5 sales calls, sell 6 widgets, get a promotion, buy a new car, buy a new home, sales of $X this year, profitability of Y%, etc. Can you relate to those types of goals? I suspect that most of your goals are those kinds. So why do I call them means goals? Because they are goals you set thinking that they are the pathway to the real goal you have, which is the end goal.

Here’s some examples of end goals: I get to drive a wonderful car that brings me joy and excitement, I live in a fabulous house in the country surrounded by lots of trees, I have all the money I need to live the life-style of my dreams, I work in an environment that is fun and nurturing and allows me to express my talents for which I am richly rewarded.

Look at the difference between the first and second types of goals. Why do you care if you buy a new car or a new home if you get to drive a wonderful car that brings you joy and excitement and you live in a fabulous house in the country surrounded by lots of trees? Why do you care if you get that promotion if you work in an environment that is fun and nurturing and allows you to express your talents for which you are richly rewarded?

In other words, stop setting goals which you think are the means to the end you really want and focus on the end. The end might come in a totally unexpected way. Plus, do you really think you’re smart enough to know exactly what the best path is to what you really want? I’ll answer that question for you: No! All you know is what you’ve learned in the past and that is fundamentally limited. So focus on the end you want and let the universe show you the best way to make it happen. Giving up trying to control and manipulate the circumstances of life is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

If you’re open to taking this conversation up an additional step, consider the following: What do you really want in the end anyway? Do you really want the house, the car, the promotion, the sales, the profitability or do you want what those things will bring you? You may not have ever thought about it but isn’t it true that you want those things because you think they’ll make you happy?

We talked about this extensively on our call last week. We all saw that most of the things we want in life we want because of the “feeling” we think those things will bring. But here’s the great reality: we don’t need those things to have that feeling, whatever it is. You can choose to have that feeling right here and right now. And here’s the best part: if you choose to have that feeling, whether it be joy or happiness or excitement, whatever, right now, the likelihood is that you will indeed attract to you all of the things you thought would bring you those feelings. And then, you don’t have to wait to have them to have those feelings. You can enjoy them right now.

Anyway, this call we had last week was so amazing, I’m going to let you listen in and see what’s available if you choose to participate in the Platinum Group coaching program. The dial-in number to gain access to the recording is: 267-507-0255. You will be asked for an access code after you dial in. It is: 40767707. If you have any problems accessing the call, please let me know.

If you really really want to be happy, here's more on forgiveness

In a recent post, I said that if you want to have a really amazing life, forgive yourself and everyone else in your life for everything. Why?: Because an unwillingness to forgive often doesn’t hurt the person we refuse to forgive at all, but it always hurts us. As long as we don’t forgive, we are bound to the other person with bonds of pain or anger or a desire for revenge. Forgiving doesn’t mean finding a way to excuse someone. There may be no excuse in the world for what they did. But forgiving does mean giving up the desire to punish them. Holding on to the need to see them pay for their words or actions is holding on to the injury itself. Forgiveness releases us from the power a wrongful action still has over us and sets us free to heal and move on.

I was having a conversation with someone who had read this, who they are is not important, and she was lamenting about her disappointment that some of her children were unwilling to forgive her and, of course, there were a number of reasons for their unwillingness to do so. Because her situation is surely not unique, I want to write about what I would have liked to tell her had there been more time.

First, if you’re disappointed that anyone in your life is unwilling to forgive YOU, then you are clearly not forgiving THEM. What you’re wanting is for  the other people to be the way you want them to be and unfortunately, that is not a choice you get to make. People are the way they are, they will do what they choose to do, and all you get to do is to practice the serenity prayer: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

What you can do is discuss with them their grievances with you, give them an opportunity to communicate, listen with compassion with no need to explain or justify your behavior, apologize, and then ask if they are willing to forgive you. The decision is then theirs. If they choose not to forgive you, they are the ones that get to suffer, not you, as long as you’re willing to forgive them.

More importantly, you’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness other than your own. How you get to be happy is to follow the instructions I’ve been writing about, including this piece on forgiveness. When you’re willing to forgive, you get to be happy. But that includes being willing to let them not be happy. And I know it’s tough with close family members. There was a time, many years ago, when one of my daughters struggled with forgiving me. We tried to do what I’m writing about with her many many times, I would listen, she would communicate her upsets, I would apologize, but she couldn’t forgive. And it got so bad that the only possible choice for the sanity of both of us was for us to go our separate ways.

Was that a happy choice? Yes and no. It didn’t make me or her happy to have to make that choice, but we were both happier after the choice was made. She didn’t have to continue to confront her issues with me and I didn’t have to continue to deal with her unloving behavior. So one of the things I would say to any of you who are in this situation is that you have the right to set boundaries. If people are unwilling to forgive and continue to be angry or resentful, tell them to go and deal with it someplace else and not on or around you.

With my daughter, we both lived with this for over seven years while she worked out her own issues. Thankfully, she was able to get to a place of true forgiveness and now we have a truly amazing relationship. Now could I have counted on that happening? No. But I surely held out hope that it would and miraculously it did.

In conclusion, as I opened, if you want to have a truly amazing life, forgive others, even if they’re unwilling to forgive you, and give up the need to control anyone else or take responsibility for anyone else’s happiness. The greatest thing you can do for unhappy people is to not be one of them.

Are you clear about your intentions?

One of my all time favorite authors is Deepak Chopra. I have participated in weekend seminars with him and have gone to numerous events to hear him speak. He has written over 30 books and the man is absolutely brilliant. I especially like that what he teaches is totally consistent with the Unshackled Leadership philosophy and for all of these reasons, when he says something, I listen.

One of the things he says is that your life is created out of your intentions and what you have your attention on. And, given the series of posts I’ve just concluded writing, that’s totally understandable since what we have our attention on and what we are intending live in our thoughts and it is our thoughts that create.

If you’re with me so far, you can understand why I stress that it’s critical to be thinking about the future you want to create rather than your current problems, challenges and circumstances because both are what’s grabbing your attention. If you have your attention on your problems, challenges and circumstances, you’ll create more of those. But if you have your attention on the future you want to create, that’s what you’ll manifest.

What I want to focus on here is the issue of your intentions. It’s not my experience that most people focus much on that. To encourage you to do exactly that, let me share with you something we at Unshackled Leadership Co. do every week. I learned this from reading The Intenders Handbook and if you want to learn more about this, you can go to their web site and there’s lots of information there.

Bottom line: in order for all of us to spend time thinking about what we want to intend to happen, we have a weekly phone call every Monday morning. We all call into our bridge line since we’re scattered around the country. What happens on the call is as follows: Understanding that each of us has declared our intentions for the week to the group the week before, each person in the group has an opportunity to report to the others how their week was, with particular emphasis on what we had included on our intentions list for the previous week.

For example, one of the things I always put on my list is that some new, unexpected business opportunity comes my way. Well last week, out of the blue, I received a call from someone who was referred to me by two people familiar with our work, wanting to talk about my willingness to participate in a meeting of their company. Another member of our group has been intending for several months to get a brand new car and this week she was excited to report that the new car had arrived.

There may be some questions or discussions about what each of us reports but that is not a major part of the call. Anyway, after each of us has shared our report from the previous week, we again go around the circle, so to speak, and each of us shares our intentions for the coming week. As each of us completes, the rest of us say: “And so it is.” We then forward our list of intentions to everyone else in the group.

Why do we do this and what are the benefits? Well, if what we create in life is based on what we have our attention on and our intentions, the most obvious answer to that question is that it forces us to create our intentions. What most if not all of us do is to take some time Sunday evening to think about the week ahead and what we would like to intend will happen. At least for me, this forces me to look at every aspect of my life and get clear about what I want to intend will happen. Then, every morning, I not only read my intentions, but I read everyone else’s intentions and take a few moments intending that all of us will see the manifestation of our intentions.

We’ve been doing this for well over a year and we have all seen miraculous events occur which we attribute to this process. New jobs, new cars, wonderful events, breakthroughs in results, profitability, and all manner of things. So I highly highly recommend that you put together a group of like minded people and start doing this. I know many people who have been in groups like this for years where they actually meet in person. Since our group is scattered around the country, we do it by phone. But however you do it, start a group and get to work being clear about your intentions and sharing them weekly with people who will support you in whatever you’re up to in life.

Some final thoughts on the road to success

In many of the recent posts, I said I was going to share with you the essence of what The Roadmap to Success program teaches and I have done that. And please be clear that there’s a difference between “the essence” and the whole story. If you find the essence of interest, you can access the whole story at http://www.unshackledleadership.com/the-roadmap-to-success-program.

Summarizing what we’ve discussed over these past few weeks:

* You were born with the same exact power to create as everyone else.

   * You can create anything

   * And, you’re creating all the time

   * There’s never a time you’re not creating

* There’s not one thing you see with our eyes that’s the truth – it’s only a projection of your past thoughts

* Your thoughts create your experiences 100% of the time

* Your emotions are the fuel that either makes everything happen or prevents things from happening.

In the last few posts, I have begun to share how to put these principles into action and create the life of your dreams. It is now time to complete this series and I offer you the following important remarks:

Because there is no such thing as a neutral thought and all thoughts create on some level, if you want to have an amazing life, you must watch what comes out of your mouth. People say anything they darn please. We’re critical and judgment, we talk about people behind their backs, we gossip and say all kinds of negative and disempowering things. Given the opportunity to say something nice, we mostly choose to say things that are not so nice.

Tell the truth: you know you do this, right? And what’s worse, we don’t even give it much thought. Somehow, we assume it’s fine to do this.

It’s not, so stop it. Wake up. Think about what you’re about to say before you say it. Your words reflect your thoughts, your words create your reality, your words get planted in the fertile soil of creation and manifest. Learn to speak about what you want. Speak words of gratitude and appreciation. I was told by a student of ours that Albert Einstein used to say Thank You at least 100 times a day. So all of us have gotten into the habit of saying Thank You all day long. Try it and watch how quickly you will create things that will support you in being grateful.

And finally, if you want to have a really amazing life, forgive yourself and everyone else in your life for everything. Unforgiveness often doesn’t hurt the person we refuse to forgive at all, but it always hurts us. As long as we don’t forgive, we are bound to the other person with bonds of pain or anger or a desire for revenge. Forgiving doesn’t mean finding a way to excuse someone. There may be no excuse in the world for what they did. But forgiving does mean giving up the desire to punish them. Holding on to the need to see them pay for their words or actions is holding on to the injury itself. Forgiveness releases us from the power a wrongful action still has over us and sets us free to heal and move on.

It’s often the case that the person we most need to forgive is ourselves. We often regret actions we’ve taken or feel guilty for them. If that’s the case, surely look to see what actions need to be taken to set the situation right. But once that’s done, be willing to forgive yourself and move on. It’s been proven over and over again that true joy cannot occur in the absence of forgiveness. And what’s a life worth if it doesn’t contain joy.

I hope you’ve found these posts of value. The entire Roadmap to Success program has been recorded and is available as a download or as a 3 DVD package. If you’re interested in either, check out the program at http://www.unshackledleadership.com/the-roadmap-to-success-program. Or give us a call and we can discuss how to bring this program into your company.