Qualities of Effective Leaders

Leadership is an extremely valuable skill.  Some people seem to be born with the ability to inspiringly lead others, while others have to really work at it.  Being able to effectively lead others can create an amazing work environment where you’re getting the support you need to create the results you desire, and others know they can count on you to be there for them as well.

Some people make the mistake of assuming that only those in a position of leadership, directly managing others, are the only ones who really make a difference.  Not true.  Whether you are in a position of leadership or not, everyone has something called personal leadership.  This is how you conduct yourself on a day in and day out basis.  Your level of personal leadership is a valuable component to your overall success.  And in all the years of working with leaders, there are several qualities that the successful ones have in common.  If you’re willing to build on the ones you already possess, and strengthen the ones you may be weaker in, you’ll find people will be drawn to you and inspired to be on your team, or simply be motivated by being in your presence.

Great leaders have direction.  They are driven, focused and not easily distracted.  They are proactive and search every avenue to find answers to problems.  They don’t get tripped up by small issues, but choose to stay focused on the big picture.

Great leaders inspire and motivate others.  They understand that different people learn in different ways and are very aware of what motivates and inspires the different people on their teams.  They are encouraging and challenging and most especially have the people they work with feel they have their best interests in mind.

Great leaders are good communicators.  They’re not afraid to say the difficult things and they’re generous with acknowledgment.  They let people know what they need and are very effective at holding people accountable.

Great leaders are positive.  They see the possibilities in ideas vs. the flaws.  They see mistakes as opportunities to learn instead of failure.

Great leaders are solutions-driven.  They’re not stopped by a problem but rather seek out solutions.  They also inspire those around them to do the same.  They encourage the people around them to find their answers vs. fixing it for them.  

A SIMPLE, YET POWERFUL LEADERSHIP TOOL – THE PAUSE

How many times have you heard someone say, “Think before you speak!” Many mothers handed out this sage advice as we were growing up!

How many times would a pause before you speak have changed the outcome of a conversation, a situation or even a relationship?  Have you ever blurted out something while you were in a bad mood and regretted it later?  The tendency to speak without thinking comes out in many ways –sarcasm, correcting, putdowns, one-upping, or just unnecessary or mean statements.  It often happens when you’re in a reactive state of mind, often when stressed, tired, overwhelmed, or frustrated. When you have any doubt if you should say something, ask yourself if the comment will add to the conversation and if it will enhance or harm the relationship.

This strategy is short and sweet.  Your mind is very quick so don’t worry that you will look like you’ve nodded off in the conversation!  However, don’t pause so long that you come off indecisive, confused or lost.  A pause lets you “get” what the person has said and lets you think about your words before they come rushing out. It’s often a signal to the other person that you heard what they said and are thinking about it. A pause also helps you not jump in and start talking before the person has completed what they want to say. Or it can be a way to transition to another topic, to help people clear their mind and focus.  Many public speaking tips include a pause as a way to get the audience’s attention and to add impact to something you just said. This is true in any conversation as well!

Pauses can be used in other ways to impress people and dial up your leadership presence.  When a successful person enters a room, you know it.  When entering a room for a meeting, don’t sneak in and out of the room.  A pause non- verbally announces your presence.  It can be more courteous than rushing in to someone else’s meeting or presentation.  A pause gives you a chance to size up the situation, gives you the opportunity to look others in the eye and get what’s going on with them, rather than just focusing on yourself. 

So, leaders, my challenge for you this week is to take time to pause.  People won’t wonder what you’re doing.  They will think there’s something that sets you apart from others, an aura of confidence AND they will pay attention, follow your lead.  Try it on.

10 Tips to Ease the Fear of Public Speaking, part 2

As I mentioned last week in the introduction to this series, I don’t have the magic key that is going to take away your fear of speaking to people. But if applied, the following tips can certainly ease the mental, emotional, and physical stress that grips you when you have to speak in front of a group or even have a difficult one on one conversation.

1) Thoughts become our reality. Most of the time what keeps up from speaking up in any situation is our negative self talk. We say things to ourselves such as “I can’t do this”, “I’ll look stupid”, “They won’t like me”, or “I’m going to make a mistake”. These thoughts are not the truth, although we’re very good at convincing ourselves that they are the truth. This keeps us from taking action in life and creates a ton of stress for us.

Becoming aware of the negative thoughts and transforming them is the key to having a life of freedom and confidence. Consciously changing those thoughts to ones like “I know I can do this”, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, I am enough”, “I have a lot to offer”, and “I can handle this”, will help fuel you to take action. It’s really simple, but not easy. If you started to consciously think these positive thoughts instead of the negative ones, in other words begin listening more to your higher consciousness vs. the voice of the ego, you’ll find yourself taking more of the actions that you know are necessary in your life.

2) Decide that you matter. Often times we don’t feel that what we have to say matters. We discount our opinions and look up to others to take the lead. Then we feel frustrated, especially when someone else says what we wanted to say. The truth is that we all have a part to play in this life. When we hide out and just go along, we give other people permission to do the same and eventually we have many people not stepping up in life. When this happens, nothing gets created and growth is stifled. When we each decide that we matter and that what we see and feel matters, and we take action on that, we create a different life, not only for ourselves but for everyone around us. You see something that no one else can see. You have a unique perspective. It’s an important perspective. It’s not the whole picture, but it’s a vital piece. Knowing that about yourself may give you the confidence to speak up more often.

3) Remember to breath. Deep breathing can actually lessen the stress you may be feeling both mentally and physically. Right before you have to speak, focusing on your breath transfers your attention to something other than what you are nervous about.

4) Have a personal motivational statement. Develop a short, easy to remember statement that you can say to yourself when you are nervous about something you have to say. Mine is “I am a magnetic, expressive, decisive and real woman”. This statement is something you can rely on to get you through a tough situation. And just like breathing, it gives you something to focus on other than your nervousness and negative self talk.

Stay tuned for the next 6 tips.