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Entries in leadership mindset (17)

Thursday
Jun132013

What's In the Way of Your Success?

Is there something you want to achieve in your life or your business that’s just not happening?  Are you having trouble achieving the success and happiness you desire?  Are you scratching your head wondering what’s going on, why it’s not coming together?

 

In this situation, what often occurs is that there is something going on at a subconscious level.  It’s not at your level of consciousness which is why it’s not so obvious to you.  The subconscious mind is very good at holding self-sabotaging or limiting beliefs that influence your behavior.  These “negative” beliefs make it harder for you to achieve what you want, while more “positive” or empowering beliefs help you achieve the things you want in life. 

 

The challenge is that the subconscious is an automatic machine that responds to beliefs and thoughts that have been entered into it.  The first 5-8 years of your life are very influential in shaping your subconscious programming.  Beliefs you acquire as a child tend to be graded as important by your subconscious.  Your parents, other significant adults, culture, and religion play a key role in your beliefs. 

 

Limiting beliefs can also be influenced by:

Past:  anger, disappointments, resentments, guilt, etc.

Future: worry, fear, doubts, etc.

Present:  current situations, other’s opinions, your stories, your ego, etc.

 

Common areas where people tend to self sabotage are in relationships, money, health, and career success.  Self sabotage is a way we describe things we do or say to ruin or prevent success or happiness that we experience or are about to experience.  Our subconscious doesn’t believe we are worthy of it, based on our programming.

 

The good news is that you have the power to change this.  While this may not be easy, it is indeed possible.  The first step is awareness.  As conscious thinking beings we have the power to change, shift our beliefs from those that may be limiting to those that are liberating and expansive.

 

Start questioning your beliefs.  If you are not seeing the results or success you want in a certain area of your life, write down the beliefs you have about this area.  Then ask yourself if these are realistic or unrealistic.  What are you saying to yourself about yourself?  Is this true? 

 

What would be a more empowering way to state your belief?  For example, you may believe you never have enough money because you are not good at managing money.  Some more empowering beliefs could be “I manage my finances responsibly.”  “I’m good at saving money.” “I always have everything I need to do everything I want to do.” “I’m worthy of a life of abundance.”

 

If you’d like to learn more about what’s holding you back and get some tools for success, click on this link:  http://www.unshackledleadership.com/free-success-video.

Friday
May172013

Leadership Strategy: BE HAPPY!

Doesn’t it feel great when you’re happy!  Do you ever feel happy for no reason? 

 

Recently, I attended a conference where a featured speaker was Marci Shirmoff, the author of Happy For No Reason, 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out.  She had so much great information to share.  We all left feeling happy!

 

I was reminded of the power of laughter and smiling.  These two things can quickly give you a “10” on the happiness scale.   Take a moment right now and put a big smile on your face.  If you’re near a mirror, look at your smiling face.  Don’t you feel great!  Now, start laughing and see what happens.  Smile at others and laugh with others and you will get an even bigger boost of happiness.  Try it!

 

“Laughter is the best medicine!”  There have been many studies that show the benefits of laughter, physically, mentally and socially.  It can boost your immunity, lower stress hormones, decrease pain, relax your muscles and prevent heart disease.  Who knew?!

An inexpensive way to keep yourself healthy!

 

As a leader, let’s focus on how laughter can benefit you and your team.  It enhances teamwork, strengthens relationships, attracts us to others, promotes group bonding and helps defuse conflict.  Laughter improves your mood, adds joy to your life, reduces anxiety and fear, and increases resilience.  It can keep you positive and optimistic, even during difficult times. 

 

Laughter is contagious so use it as a tool with your teams.  You can start your meetings with a joke or a funny video or cartoon.  Of course, all of this is done tastefully.  Laugh at yourself or situations to help lighten up.  Surround yourself with people and things to help you smile and laugh; such as, a fun screen saver, a toy on your test, or a photo of a loved one smiling at you.  Incorporate laughter, fun and playfulness in your brainstorming sessions and see creativity soar and ideas blossom.  Pay attention to children and emulate them.  They are experts on laughing, playing, and talking life lightly. 

 

Run your own experiment this week.  Be intentional about being happy.  Smile at yourself and others.  Laugh and have fun.  Be happy for no reason!  Then see what kind of a week you and your team have.

 

Thursday
May092013

Leadership Strategy: Empower Yourself

Do you ever feel frustrated because your life seems out of control and you just can’t get it together?

This is a common complaint for many people in this fast paced, competitive world in which we live and work.  What often happens is that some people experience these feelings because they want to be in control – of everything.  Others think they have no control and they are a victim of what’s going on around them, other people, events or circumstances.  Both think life “should” be different than it is.  It should not be so challenging!  You can see why people feel frustrated and overwhelmed.

What can you do about it?  Try this exercise.  Focus on a particular thing you’re trying to do and are feeling frustrated about.  For example, you’re trying to get a new job.  On the left side of a sheet of paper, list all of the things you have control over.  On the right side of the paper, list all the things you can’t control.  For example, you can control what you wear on the job interview, how well groomed you are, what you put on your resume, where you send it, what you know about the company before you go on the interview, etc.  You can’t control the economy, that so many others are unemployed, etc. 

Now take a look at the list of things you can control and start taking responsibility for them.  Empower yourself.  You don’t need to be perfect at them, just strive for excellence in your efforts.  Perfection is a sign of fear and this will keep you from connecting with others and being your best.  When you look at the list of things you can control, you feel more empowered and less of a victim.  Taking ownership for what you can do gives you confidence and energy to move forward in a peaceful way and trusting way. 

Control can be tricky.  We often try to control what is none of our business and don’t control what we can.  Then we give up because we feel powerless.  People often think by controlling things, you can avoid what threatens you.  A more powerful position is to accept responsibility for what you can control.  Empower yourself.  Stop resisting what is.  Accepting responsibility is synonymous with accepting life.

I’ll leave you with Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Friday
Apr262013

Success Tool: Stop Making Excuses!

Do you ever put a label on yourself to excuse some behavior?  This may be such a part of you that you don’t even realize you’re doing it or the consequences that go along with it.  Let’s explore.

 

Many of these excuses are chained to your past.  You may say something like, “That’s just the way I am.”  “I’ve always done it that way.”  “I can’t help it.”  Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about these in his book Your Erroneous Zones.  These connectors from the past keep you from growing, changing and making your life new, exciting and fulfilling.  He calls them “I’ms” and says what you’re really saying is “And I intend to continue to be the way I’ve always been.”

 

Many of these come from your past - labels from other people or events.  Other labels are the result of a choice you made to keep from having to do something that’s uncomfortable or difficult.  They have “benefits” that keep people comfortable and stuck.

 

Examples:

“I’m lousy at some skill area, such as, cooking, acting, public speaking, sales, or marketing.”   This “I’m” assures that you won’t have to do any of these things in the future and justifies any poor performance in the past.  So with this excuse, you avoid the activity and have a good excuse for this.  

 

“I’m shy, reserved, afraid, temperamental, etc.”  Rather than challenge these excuses and the self destructive thinking that supports them, people just accept them as that’s the way they’ve always been, so……..  You can blame your parents or your genes and use these as excuses because that’s the way you are and always have been.

 

These “I’m” excuses keep people from having an amazing life, from being successful at what they want.  You avoid doing things because you have this handy “I’m” excuse.  It’s easier to describe yourself than to change.  You give responsibility to the past for your present life.  Then it’s not your fault and you can’t do anything about it. Excuses.

 

Now that you see this, you CAN do something about it.  Leaving your past behind involves some risk taking.  Here are some things you can do.

  • Eliminate “I’m” wherever you can.  Substitute with such sentences as, “Until today, I’ve chosen to be that way” or “I used to label myself….”
  • Set behavioral goals to act differently.  For example, if you consider yourself shy, introduce yourself to one new person at an event.
  • Be an observer of yourself and keep a journal.  Note when you think or speak these limiting “I’ms”.  Pick one to work on each day.  For example, if you’re impatient, stand in the longest line at the grocery store and use the opportunity to be patient and gracious to others.

 

Remember, you are the sum product of your choices.  Choose to stop making excuses!  Choose to be the amazing person you always wanted be!

Friday
Apr052013

Team Leadership - Embracing Differences

You’ve probably heard the expression, “Opposites Attract”.  And many would say opposites can also make you crazy.  Have you experienced this? 

Often, people get along best with people who are like them because they have a lot in common and they “get” each other.  But the reality of the world is that there are a lot of different people out there.  Tools like Myers Briggs and Strength Finders are valuable because they help you see different personality styles and the different strengths people have.

In the sports world, it is common for people’s different talents and strengths to be appreciated and included in unique and valuable ways to help the team be successful.  Unfortunately, in the workplace, many people have not learned this valuable lesson.  Often people compare others to themselves.  They criticize others whose differences don’t live up to their set of standards and expectations or they may envy them when they are “better”.  They get irritated by differences rather than using them to their advantage.  This can lead to resentment, jealousy, envy, antagonism, and sabotage which are not healthy in relationships or to the success of the business. Does this strike a chord with you?

A great team leader sees differences, appreciates them and embraces them.  They also encourage individuals on their team to do the same.  This is a key element in true partnership relationships that is discussed in Unshackled Leadership.  Everyone acknowledges and appreciates other people’s contributions and uses each other’s talents for the maximum benefit of the team. 

As a team leader, get to know your team members.  Provide opportunities for your team members to get to know each other.  Look for the gold in each person – what special talents and strengths do they have.  Acknowledge them. Think about the possibilities of how to use the unique strengths, talents, knowledge, styles and personalities to create an amazing team.  How they are used may vary according to what projects are assigned to the team.  Be careful of getting stuck in always having the same people do the same thing the same way.  Create a true partnership with your team.  Embrace their differences.  You will have enthusiastic, confident, optimistic and happy people who work together on behalf of a future they’ve all committed themselves to --- a successful business!