Leadership Dilemma – Feeling Stuck?

What’s Holding You Back?

Yesterday, I heard someone say something very profound – “We are the ‘lid’ on what’s possible for others.”  

This was in the context of inviting someone to do something, presenting an opportunity to them.  People often hold back from asking others to do things because they have thoughts, stories or judgments about someone else – what they might want to do, what they “should” do, what they won’t do etc. This influences what we invite them to do, what possibilities we present to them, what opportunities we don’t even give them a chance to say yes or no to. 

So, my questions for you is:

• What’s holding you back?  

• Where are you stuck? 

• Are you putting a “lid” on yourself about what’s possible for you, what opportunities you might want to try?  

• What stories, misperceptions, negative thoughts or judgments do you have about yourself that holds you back?

If you ask yourself these questions, you’ll see that many of your answers are fear based.  Fear gets its power from the future.  People are often fearful about outcomes.  Doubt and uncertainty take hold and people get stuck.  They put a “lid” on themselves and their opportunities.  This can become a dilemma for leaders.

Getting Unstuck

• Get into action in the present moment (remember fear is future based, it can’t exist in the present moment).  Take a deep breath and begin. Just do it!

• Let go of your attachment to the outcome.  Be open to the possibility of a different or better outcome.  Trust the outcome will be in your best interest.

• When doubt or uncertainties hold you back, this negative energy projects in your thoughts, words and actions.  Ask yourself what would a confident, doubt free day look like for you.  Be willing to see things differently.

• Visualize you are holding a fist full of helium balloons.  Written on each one is the name of one of your fears, worries or doubts. Now see yourself letting go of the balloons, one by one, thus releasing each of these things that are keeping you stuck and holding you back from being the great leader you are meant to be!  

Leadership Tool – Choosing a Powerful Mindset

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a pill you could take to give you super powers as a leader?  Well, in a way, there is.  It’s called it a “Choice Pill”.  You take it as needed to enhance your leadership skills.  Close your eyes and imagine yourself taking the “Choice Pill” and here’s what happens:

• You feel powerful!
• You are in charge of you!
• You choose how you think and feel.     
• You can choose to be happy, or not. 
• You can choose how to respond to what happens to you.  You can choose to have a good day, even if you spilled coffee on your pants. 
• You can choose to lead your team with full gusto toward the goal when a controversial decision on a project direction is made, even if this was not your first choice.       
• You can choose to enjoy listening to a CD in your car when you are stuck in traffic rather than being angry at other drivers and the slow traffic.

Feelings are not just emotions that happen to you.  Our feelings come from our thoughts.  If you control your thoughts and your feelings come from our thoughts, you are capable of controlling your feelings.  This affects your actions and the results you produce.  This may be new way of thinking for you but once you get this, you will see the world differently.  This enhances your personal power and leadership skills.

Many of us were brought up in a culture which taught us not to be responsible for our feelings.  For example, “You hurt my feelings.”  “You make me mad.”  When you turn your thoughts around from “So & So did this or that to me” to “I chose to be angry or happy” there is power because you are in charge of you.  You go from victim to victor.

You are the person responsible for how you think, feel and act.  You can learn to think differently about anything –if you decide to do so. 

Let’s face it, every immediate reaction may not be wonderful.  When you’re in a situation and something negative “pops” into your head, you can choose to keep it or get rid of it.  Sometimes you may have to “digest” it a little first. 

You can learn to think, feel and act differently by making choices to do so.  Take your Choice Pills, choose a powerful mindset and see what a difference it makes in your life, and in your leadership.